Your first family mediation session usually starts with a private intake conversation, followed by a joint or shuttled discussion focused on your children.
Listen to this article
Your first family mediation session usually begins well before you and the other parent are in the same room, or on the same video call, together. Most practices start with a separate intake conversation for each parent, and the joint session that follows is a structured, guided conversation focused on your children's practical arrangements, not a free-for-all discussion of past grievances.
Before any joint discussion, an accredited practitioner will usually speak with each parent separately, often by phone or video. This conversation exists to check that mediation is appropriate for your situation, to screen for any safety concerns or significant power imbalance between the parents, and to explain clearly how the process works. It is also your opportunity to ask questions, flag anything you are worried about, and get a sense of how the practitioner works before the joint session takes place. If either parent has concerns about safety or comfort, this is the time to raise them.
Not every family mediates in the same way, and the format is chosen to suit the situation rather than following a single template. Some parents sit in the same room together, in person or by video, with the practitioner guiding the conversation. Others use shuttle mediation, where the practitioner moves between two separate spaces, or two separate video calls, relaying the conversation without both parents needing to interact directly. This option exists for good reason: it allows people who find direct contact difficult, or who have experienced conflict, to still take part fully in working out an agreement.
Once the joint session begins, the practitioner typically starts by helping both parents agree on what needs to be discussed. This might include living arrangements, time-sharing, school holidays, decision-making about health and education, and how changeovers will work day to day. Having a clear agenda keeps the conversation focused and prevents it drifting into unrelated disputes. The practitioner's role is to keep both people talking productively about the children's needs, not to take sides or decide the outcome.
The bulk of the session is spent working through each item on the agenda, one at a time. The practitioner will often ask questions to help each parent understand the other's perspective, test whether a proposed arrangement is realistic day to day, and note points of agreement as they emerge. Some sessions move steadily and reach agreement on most points within a few hours. Others need more than one sitting, particularly where the issues are complex or emotions are running high. There is no expectation that everything gets resolved in a single meeting.
If agreement is reached, it is typically written up as a parenting plan that both parents sign. If a section 60I certificate is needed for a court application, and full or partial agreement was not reached, the practitioner can issue one reflecting what occurred. Mediation is not a substitute for legal advice, and Alternative Mediations does not provide legal advice, so if you want to understand how a certificate or agreement affects any current or future court matter, a qualified legal practitioner can advise on that separately.
Whether your session happens in a meeting room or over video, the underlying structure, intake first, then a guided joint conversation focused on your children, stays consistent. Online sessions follow the same screening and format, simply delivered by video, which many parents find just as effective and considerably more convenient, particularly if they no longer live near each other.
It also helps to remember that the practitioner has done this many times before, even if it is your first time. Their job is to keep the conversation productive, protect both parents from feeling ambushed or unheard, and make sure the session stays focused on decisions that actually need to be made rather than old arguments resurfacing.
If you are preparing for a first family mediation session, knowing what to expect at each stage tends to ease most of the nervousness that comes with it, and an accredited practitioner will walk you through the process before you begin.
Most practices start with a separate intake conversation for each parent, usually by phone or video. This is where the practitioner checks that mediation is appropriate, screens for safety concerns, and explains what the joint session will involve.
No. Many sessions are held jointly in person or online, but shuttle mediation, where the practitioner moves between separate spaces, is available when that suits the situation better, including where there has been conflict or discomfort being in the same room.
It helps to bring a clear idea of your current arrangements, the specific issues you want to discuss, and any relevant dates or documents, such as school terms or existing agreements. You do not need legal documents to attend.
Sessions typically run for a few hours, though this varies depending on how many issues are on the agenda and how the conversation progresses. Some matters are resolved in one sitting, others need a follow-up session.
This is common, and practitioners are experienced in helping people feel comfortable before the joint conversation begins. The intake conversation is partly designed to answer your questions and explain the process so there are no surprises on the day.
Alternative Mediations provides Family & Separation mediation across Australia, in person or online. Initial enquiries are confidential and obligation-free.
Book a Confidential ConsultationGet in touch for a confidential conversation. We will explain the process and help you understand whether it is right for your situation.